Stuffy things

My fuck all sickness has abated. My mood has evened out. I have art commissions. I have a new job that doesn't suck ass.

All in all, I feel as though I'm where I should be. Life is good. Sometimes, when I get frazzled, I feel like everything is falling apart, but it's not. :)

I'm really unused to having a supportive partner. Ha...it's taken some serious getting used to. It's hard for me not to EXPECT verbal abuse when I make a mistake. It's hard for me to ask for help because I'd grown accustomed to being ridiculed for doing so. Yeah, I'm poor and that's a bitch sometimes. But I'm rich in all the ways that matter. I have beautiful, crazy kids that I love and see everyday. I have some talent and get the appropriate appreciation and attention to that talent. I have a wonderful fiance who admires me and supports me and who I'm so grateful for (even when he's being an asshat). I have a nice house and a decent car.

In other words: I have NO reason to bitch. XD

In other news! My website is going well and I'm teaching myself photoshop. I learned how to make watermarks for my art today. Guys. GUYS. I'm really proud of myself. Silly? Probably, but I'm easily impressed when I learn something new. I'm really looking forward to putting out that graphic novel I've been obsessing about for three years now. Yes yes yes. Also! I learned to make pretty stationary using my art. You have no idea how much this pleases my silly ass.

My writing has taken a backseat to finding a better job and finishing up these art commissions. Also, I spent a great deal of time vegging out and playing WoW. Yes yes, I know, time waster, but I NEEDED IT. I needed to do a lot of nothing while getting over this awful flu/strep/plague nonsense. But I foresee lots of writing in the next couple weeks. The ideas are gelling in my brain crockpot. While that sounds utterly unappetizing...it's a good thing.

I've also decided that I've been the victim of my PMS. Now, for pretty much all of my period having life, I denied that I acted ANY different. Well, I am afraid to report that this is bullshit. JUST LOOK AT THE PRIOR WHINY ASS POSTS. JESUS. Yes, I do suffer from mild depression, but usually that just makes me kind of bitchy and snarky. It doesn't make me all WOE IS ME I R SO SAD! Because, normally? I'm not sad. Normally, I'm annoyed/put out/stressed/and wanting to avoid the rest of the human race save my clan. Honestly, other than my fiance and children, and two good friends, I don't ever want to even look at other people.

W/e I'm rambling.

Point is! I'm really REALLY going to try to be less negative. It's dumb, for starters. Yes, it's funny (to some, not all), but it isn't just an outward negativity. I'm a very pessimistic thinker. And it is starting to hurt those around me. Naturally, because I assume the worst of anything in any given situation, I have been hurting the feelings of those with good intentions. Imagine my shock and utter dismay! I've always considered myself SUPER nice to those I care about. Self-sacrificing, humble...etc. Well, I -am-, but I'm also a really annoying pain in the ass about my self martyrdom. I hadn't really realized this until the argument I had with my fiance tonight. What did we argue about? Nothing. Because all couples HAVE to argue and since we have no real problems...we manage to spend a good two hours arguing over nothing at all. But I started listening to myself bitch and moan in a very passive aggressive way...FUCK. I did NOT realize I was being such a bratty twat. I plan on remedying this. TJ is awesome. Really. Not saying he's never in the wrong, oh, because he SO is...but never really in a way that hurts me or even bothers me much. Ha.

So yeah...things are and have been very good. <3

...seriously why do I blog when I'm high on PM's? I'll read this in the morning and endlessly wtf at myself.

My painting has a bid. I KNEW it was a good one when I sketched it, but man, it's nice to get out of my slump. I was REALLY upset when my last painting didn't sell, as that's never happened before. So, I feel validated. Hooray.

Training for work is winding down. I guess I'm glad? I dunno, I feel wholly unprepared to assist the great unwashed with their "smart phones". We'll see.

Been playing Star Trek online. It's pretty fun and very pretty graphically. Ground combat is a bit...insane but space combat is frickin' awesome. And psst, I'm a closet Trek fan anyway. MAKE IT SO. ENGAGE ogod. The game really captures the spirit/feel of Trek (and tribbles drop as pets :D).

I accomplished a lot yesterday. Worked eight hours, made meatloaf, wrote 1k, finished a book, and nearly finished a painting. I'm pumped.

Fevre Dream by George R.R. Martin is the book I finished. No, I don't know why I've read so many g-damned vampire books lately. I dislike vampires...but it...it was in the bathroom...so it got read. :3

(The book wasn't that great. I liked the protagonist, but the story was basically Moby Dick via steamboats and vampires. Bleh.)

I put some Philip K. Dick in the bathroom, so hopefully, I'll enjoy "Flow My Tears: The Policeman Said"

Anyway. Good day yesterday, shaping up to be a good day today. :)

My job is going a little smoother thanks to me finding a PDF file that gives definitions of all acronyms and all call procedures with detailed troubleshooting steps. YAY. Too bad over three weeks of training weren't half as helpful as this one document.

Art's going well, so is writing. Good times.

But in lieu of all that...my HOUSE has kinda gone to shit. SO much laundry. It's not filthy, just really super messy. Stuff everywhere. Bah.

Other than that, this week looks as though it's going to be okay. :D

Getting ready to work on my art website since I'm on an extended break from work (resisting the urge to just take a damn nap). I'm really excited. I finally have a partner who is supportive of my art endeavors. I know I'm not the best artist, but I really love painting whimsical things and am just really blessed/fortunate there are people out there who want to buy my fairies.

I'll have a painting up on ebay in a couple days. I really love this one so far. I usually stick to pastels with lots of blues and purples, soft pinks and reds, but this time I went all earth tones with hints of jewel tones. It's nice to do something a little different. :D

My real life friend Andrea is going to be helping me set up an etsy shop for various things related to my artwork. She makes really cute jewelry and we'll be doing some resin cast paintings as pendants. I love doing really tiny paintings especially, so this should be fun. :)

Tonight, me and my fiance are going on our first ever date.

Yes, that seems ass backwards, but I'm excited. Cause I'm a dork.

Writing: Is going okay. I'm in that head space where I'm not too sure if what I'm writing is CRAP or okay. But I'm going to keep plugging. I've kept my goal of 1k a day all week. I plan to keep it up, maybe try to do 2k today. We'll see.

I also have two art commissions. One is for my dad, who for reasons I CAN NOT and probably do not want to understand, wants some goth chick with big boobs holding an axe guitar. You guys have no idea how funny this is. I was all gothy in highschool and he fucking hated it. HATE. It's also disturbing. My dad said big boobs :(

The other is for my friend who wants a fairy tattoo. I love these because my art will be on a person til they're dead! :D I've done a lot of tattoo commissions. They're fun.

In all seriousness: I have to start making some kind of money off art/writing. I can't do this customer service soul sucking hell shit for much longer. I don't require a lot of money to keep my current lifestyle. I have no house payment, no rent (I own my house outright), no car payment (I buy stuff with cash or not at all), and my bills are really low. Budget wise, I only need about 1000 bucks a month. I know that seems insanely low, but I'm really good at living cheaply :D That being said...the economy is shit and people aren't in the mood to buy extras/luxuries like art. Maybe I can pull it off if I work VERY VERY hard. I'm going to keep my job and try. If it works, then I'll do it full time, if not, well...

Shit happens.

Heh.

Sup, people.

Yesterday, while really fucking stressful, turned out to be a really good day. Wrote a thousand words, sketched a bit, cleaned house, watched TJ play Halo and steal my dog. That's right. MY dog loves him more. If it wasn't so cute watching him snuggle with the dog and baby talk her, then I might be peeved. Heheh. BTW...Lilly is the cutest thing in all the world. She looks like a little deer. :3

Observe!( Cuteness )

Been thinking about magic systems in fantasy novels. MOST of the fantasy I've read contains no real magic at all or uses technology as magic.

Thinking back to when I read A LOT of D&D/Tolkien/floop de loo fantasy, magic either came from the fucking ether or dudes read a MAGICAL SCROLL they had to memorize. Then they waved their hands about and went "Booba dooba dooo!" /dude casts FIREFUCKBALL, other dudes asplode. Meh.

I don't find this interesting. Does anyone else? I reminded of that LARP video where the pudgy guy flails about in a cape and throws nerf darts at his friends going "Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!"

I guess I just want to see some magic with consequences...other than the "He is a frail mage! Because magic makes him tired?" I want a buff mage.

Any recommendations on fantasy where magic has consequences? Or at the very least, a "realistic" magic system?

Hell, any remotely interesting fantasy out there aside from China Mieville? I don't know who rec'd me Mieville, but thank you. I think he's amazing and The Scar has since become one of my favorite books. It's very Lovecraftian. And while I can't STAND actually reading Lovecraft, I love the various adaptations.

This is really for my benefit as a way to keep track of this stuff, but feel free to follow if you like :)

1. Read 100 books
2. Write and publish 10 short stories
3. Finish four novels
4. Get a novel published
5. Get married
6. Organize bedroom and KEEP it that way
7. ( 100 things to do in 1001 days )

My weekend was nice and relaxing. My puppy is getting more used to things, though she's still terrified of every noise and the cats. Which is funny, because they're equally scared of her. In other news: I sent TJ to buy her a froofy doggie bed and he bought her a dress too. LOL. She's used to wearing "clothes" so it doesn't bug her, but I have never put clothes on a dog. The whole idea of my tall, bearded boyfriend buying it is what makes me laugh. He's so cute.

He got my Valentine's presents early. Sims 3, a monkey in an 80's tee shirt, and a beautiful card that made me cry.

Sadly, didn't do any writing...but I plan on remedying that tonight. I bought TJ the netbook he wanted so he has no excuse for not writing either.

Bah. I'm so tired today and not at all in the mood for working.

Check out Polyphonyonline.org and read "Penis Envy". One of the best/funniest horror stories ever.

The blurb! ( Cut for gore...not a lot of gore, but some )

Adopting a puppy today. Excitement levels high! I've been looking for a puppy for a long time, and I finally found one (and I'm finally ready after my dog died in October. From Swine Flu).

Got some writing done on an older novel of mine, Company Man.

Inked a fairy painting.

And here in a minute, I'm going to go buy my sons some bunk beds. :D I always wanted one of those as a kid, but didn't have a sister so it was a no go. The one I'm getting has a desk on it for my son's computer and I'm getting internet put in his room. I have to figure out how to put parental safeguards on it, though really, he only plays WoW and reading games. I just picture him accidentally navigating to tub girl or something and thus being scarred for life. Then, as an adult, because of the tub girl, he becomes a mass murderer and blames it all on his mother. What? I never said I wasn't neurotic.

Adolph and Ava, my cats, are tearing through the house. Why? Ava has a sock and Adolph wants it. Kitty Thunderdome has commenced.

So glad it's the weekend. So. Glad.